Wednesday 5 September 2012

Fleeting Moment of Freedom- 2

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I smiled and pulled my lips straight when his expression didn't change one bit. I looked back at the man and he sympathetically gave the chit back. I left the dais where the buffet line was set and walked down towards him.
'Pass it here' Rahul motioned. He pushed it into his front pocket.
'No! Farheen will find it! Let me knot it back' I lurched forward so much that I tripped and stood inches from him. He didn't say anything in the awkward silence that filled between us. He just walked ahead, towards the exit doors making me follow him.
            Outside, dusk was browner than I pictured it to be. And a lot louder as well. Sigh, the world had gotten badder inside and outside the theater. It was hard to follow Rahul, he was like an agile fish swimming through the crowd, leaving me behind to fend for myself. Myself. Something within my reach. Independence? Not quite...but it still felt good. Soon I lost him and trotted off like a distracted lamb, stopping at all pretty shining things at the small stalls. Felt better. While I was immersed in my new found freedom, a little bit of fear crept. Much as I longed for this day, I didn't know what to do next. Wasn't sure if I wanted to in the first place.  The Grand Theater was the only place I knew. And Rahul was the only person I knew out here. I stopped in my steps and was instantly pushed about by the people bustling around me. The sky was turning dark and I couldn't see with the poor lanterns in the stalls. My eyes began to search frantically for his green shirt, his black hair, his brown shoes....it surprised me at how much I had observed him. And just then when the street lights came on in a row, I saw him beneath one of them. A message for help and his face produced the same effect. Then, again, his eyes bored into mine. And again, I smiled. Again it felt like someone had undid my corset. Again I could breathe. But this time, he smiled back.
             I could've turned back and fled. I could've tugged at someone and accused Rahul. I could've gotten my dreamed freedom, but I weaved through the people and took his outstretched hand.  He said nothing as usual, but he held it tight and walked me through to the jewelry shops. Rahul picked up a blue, chunky earring and kept it near my ears. I didn't understand what he meant by all this, didn't know what Farheen would do if he found out but at that moment I didn't care. He'd point to different ornamnets and all I'd have to do is shake my head in response. At one point, while he was buying stationary for the sets, my eyes spotted an anklet. I fell in love with it the second I saw it. It was studded with smooth pearls like the ones that Farheen rented out. I lifted my skirt a bit, and imagined them there. When the trader peeked at my scarred feet, I crossed them and covered it. Sigh. Rahul held my hand afterwards and once all the shopping was done, we walked back to our home. We stopped at the entrance and collected the bills, counted the change and then headed inside.

Right before we passed through the black curtains that cut off my gloomy world from the glittery world, Rahul pulled me back gently. He spread out my curled palms and pushed something brown into them. As my fingers clutched it, I could feel the minute bumps of pearls. It was the anklet. He didn't say what it meant, but I understood. It was my hope that I could hold onto, till his help came. I could've done a lot more with the fleeting moment of freedom, but I couldn't have found this love then ...

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